Spider Revenge

It took me awhile to get over that weed eating ruckus last week. (click HERE for a recap, in case you missed it) I figured, spiders on my leg, that's pretty bad and probably doesn't happen all that often.  I thought, that's probably all the eight-legged encounters I'll be having for some time now, because what are the odds of two horrifying arachnid incidents happening within a week of each other? Well, I guess the odds are higher than I thought, because yesterday when I went to put the mail in the mailbox the following horrifying ordeal occurred:

 

SCENE ONE: It's a bright, shiny morning as I reach to open the Schmit Home Solutions mailbox to send a few friendly letters on their way.

SCENE TWO: When said mailbox is opened a gigantic eight-legged beast emerges from the dark depths of the box, furiously gnashing his teeth and probably saying something like what I've shown in my comic. Of course, I can't be certain what he was trying to communicate to me, because I do not dabble in spider speak.

SCENE THREE: My eyes open wide, my hair stands on end, and a small scream erupts from my mouth. This can't be happening, what type of ungodly beasts are these things? They lie in wait for me around every corner. (I don't think I'm being that dramatic, am I?)

SCENE FOUR: Mail flies into the air as I run from the mailbox of doom. The hairy monster giggles, knowing he has won this round.

Eventually, when he was done laughing at me, Jason came to my assitance and used his bare hands to sweep the spider out of the mailbox and onto the ground. We then jointly made the decision to let him live. As long as they're outside, I think that bugs should be given the simple right to live. Plus, when they're working how they're supposed to, spiders eat a lot of other creepy crawlies that I'd rather not come into contact with. 

This story does have a depressing ending, though, because when I went to take the mail out to the box this morning, the eight-legged avenger was back! Seriously. The same spider, and he was erecting a nasty little web  in the front of the mailbox. I decided then that he had to die. I feel some remorse for the squishing death that was inflicted upon him, but I can't have something like that sneaking up on me and nearly causing me to go into cardiac arrest every morning.

The Spider Incident - A Horrifying Lesson in Lawn-care

Jason and Tim refuse to believe that the following story is true - whatever helps them get to sleep at night. I swear to you, though, that the following account is 100% accurate. Unfortunately, it is also at least 97% frightening, so those with arachnophobia and small insects may want to avert their eyes from this comic strip.

It all started when I was weed eating around the perimeter of the Schmit Home Solutions shop yesterday afternoon...

SCENE ONE: It was a pleasant day, the sun was shining and a nice cool breeze was blowing. I had just finished mowing the lawn and was taking care of some tight spots that I had missed around the building with the weed eater.

SCENE TWO: I notice something peculiar. A large crowd of menacing black spiders are crawling along the grass line. They seem to have been awoken by the weed eater and are now emerging from their homes in the underworld.

SCENE THREE: Against my better judgement, I continue to weed eat. The gigantic, ugly arachnids are swept up by the weed eater and flung at top speeds in what seems to be a million different directions.

SCENE FOUR: I was wrong about the "million different directions", the demonic beasts have all ended up on my legs. Immediate panic ensues.

In case you were concerned, I did survive this episode (barely). I'm hoping to dream up a solution to this problem, because the grass outside is still growing, and I have a feeling that there will be a repeat event in about one week. Ugh.



Character of the day: Krampton the Krill.
A very small and inquisitive creature, Krampton the krill spends most of his time opening his large eyes as widely as possible so as to learn all he can about his surroundings.